What does my children come first mean to you?

It would be a terrible world if parents didn't take care of and guard their children from harm. I don't think anyone wants to support a world like that, but that's not the point. Obviously parents feel that way about their kids and a profile is not the place to make such statements for those seeking a long-term, loving relationship.

If they state anything about their kids in a profile, women seem to write either "my children are the most important thing in my life" or "my children come first."

I am so sick of seeing this. It is a huge turnoff and I won't respond to a profile with statements of that ilk. In fact, it is starting to piss me off. I'm not upset that they feel that way: any good parent would. It’s that they are so out of touch with the rest of the world that they actually think this helps their situation.

Yeah…I want to enter a relationship where from the get-go I'm being marginalized and told that I will never be as important to her as other members of her family. The children come first statement insults the intelligence of all men. Ladies with kids: unless you are trolling for utterly stupid or emotionally defective men, you need to stop including such disclaimers in your profile. Disclose the fact that you have children and nothing more. You are reducing your prospects to men who either have problems or will be emotionally unavailable to you, in which case, you might as well advertise for an intimate encounter only. Think about it: you are putting up boundaries so huge from the onset through your infatuation for your children, any man who gets with you knows he’ll be such a low priority in your life that he only expects a relationship of convenience and probably won't become emotionally attached to you. Why should he? You are indicating up front that he will be distanced.

I’ve had some good relationships with women with kids who were realistic and didn’t approach it this way. If you are seeking a serious relationship, you need to be able to open up to a man in your life as a partner. As your love emerges, his love for you will expand to include love for your children. Men are protectors and they will eventually guard your children as an extension of you. If you are going to be in a relationship, you have to take this risk. He didn’t make your family, you did that with someone else, so it is even more imperative to breathe a little, live a little and create a space in your heart to welcome another on the same deep level that led to you being a parent in the first place.

Women, if you are not ready to be an equal partner with a man, be open to loving equality, drop the pretenses. Stop stating the obvious feelings you have for your children in your profile. If you truly want a long-term, focus on the man. The rest will follow.

CONTINUE READING - What does my children come first mean to you?

How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex??? (3)

Don't take offence cause this isn't personally directed at you, but most people (myself included) just aren't interesting enough to listen to entirely without sexual motivation. Attraction and the hopes for sexual interaction are what motivate many men to listen to women drone on about themselves.


Don't be offended by this because it is not directed at you personally... it's directed at all men that listen to or get to know women just to have sex.

It's comments like the one above that help convince women that all men want is sex. If sex is the a man's main motivation to listen and get to know a woman then he should visit a hooker. At least that would be honest on both parts. The type of man that listens to women to get sex is the type that I have to teach my daughters to steer clear from when they grow up.


But don't kid yourself, it[sex] is a need and it is still there, he's just putting it on hold in the hopes his investment will pay off later. At some point (probably within a month) you'll have to address his need or lose him.


The last time I checked no human has ever died because they did not have sex. Sex is NOT a need. Oxygen is a need. Food and water are needs. Sex is a want, a desire and a very high value.

The man who despises himself tries to gain self-esteem from sexual adventures—which can’t be done, because sex is not the cause, but an effect and an expression of a man’s sense of his own value . . .

Sex is a physical capacity, but its exercise is determined by man’s mind—by his choice of values, held consciously or subconsciously. To a rational man, sex is an expression of self-esteem—a celebration of himself and of existence. To the man who lacks self-esteem, sex is an attempt to fake it, to acquire its momentary illusion.

Romantic love, in the full sense of the term, is an emotion possible only to the man (or woman) of unbreached self-esteem: it is his response to his own highest values in the person of another—an integrated response of mind and body, of love and sexual desire. Such a man (or woman) is incapable of experiencing a sexual desire divorced from spiritual values.


Sex is one of the most important aspects of man’s life and, therefore, must never be approached lightly or casually. A sexual relationship is proper only on the ground of the highest values one can find in a human being. Sex must not be anything other than a response to values. And that is why I consider promiscuity immoral. Not because sex is evil, but because sex is too good and too important . . . .

[Sex should] involve . . . a very serious relationship. Whether that relationship should or should not become a marriage is a question which depends on the circumstances and the context of the two persons’ lives. I consider marriage a very important institution, but it is important when and if two people have found the person with whom they wish to spend the rest of their lives—a question of which no man or woman can be automatically certain. When one is certain that one’s choice is final, then marriage is, of course, a desirable state. But this does not mean that any relationship based on less than total certainty is improper. I think the question of an affair or a marriage depends on the knowledge and the position of the two persons involved and should be left up to them. Either is moral, provided only that both parties take the relationship seriously and that it is based on values.

CONTINUE READING - How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex??? (3)

How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex??? (Part 2)

There are good guys out there, but many times the women think they are boring. I have a friend who is a great guy and my last girlfriend said he was good looking, but would never date him because he was boring. I couldn't figure it out at first, but then a lot of her friends kept picking guys that were "exciting", but always wanted justs sex.

He finally met a good lady who was interested in him. I think it's great. She likes him and he adores her. Her sisters keep trying to get her to go out with other guys who party more. You figure it out. I can't.

Just remember the next time when you talk to a guy and all he wants to talk about is sex. Is there a guys close to you who is a good guy, but he's boring? Sometimes, you get what you're searching for.

CONTINUE READING - How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex??? (Part 2)

Your Pet or Your Relationship?

I had two dogs, one recently passed away. I now just have one dog who is 8 and I had him since he was a puppy. I realize he is not a person but he is the closest I will have to a child and I love him. My dogs have been there for me through think and thin. They care not about how I look, what I wear, how much I have in the bank, what kind of car I drive and all the petty things people look at and judge a person on. They love me for me and that is all. It is unconditional love and I would never, ever, ever give my Max up for anyone.

If someone does not like my dog, that is fine. But to tell me to toss him away is horrible. What does that say about me to toss my animal out a window(so to speak) for a man? It says I have a bad character, in my opinion. If I would toss my doggie, what else would I toss? If I met someone who was allergic to dogs, it would not work out.

I do not expect anyone to love my dog but they have to treat him decently. I am not a fan of cats but if someone had a cat, I would not love it but I wouls be kind to it.

CONTINUE READING - Your Pet or Your Relationship?

How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex???

Good Question
The decent guys with manners sets the tone for a conversation and even they will tip in a few sexual questions just to test the water i guess its a form of flirting and as long as they are asked at the right time i dont think it would bother you .

Outgoing bubbly and talkative women are sexy to men and some will turn into thinking your an easy lay i know some women go silent for a few seconds when you ask the wrong question and to me thats the mark not to discuss such things at that stage and i know where i stand .

Sites like this attract players and married men looking for a fling or even single guys with sex as the only motive and having read the forums it couldbe as high as 60 percent maybe higher so u will have to wade your way through .

And if they get offended well you know what they are all about .

If your not happy about answering sexual questions just say those are private answers and i dont want to discuss them with you as we have only just met . Soon sorts out the wheat from the chaff .

Guys that find a woman that they really like and want as a partner or even think that it may go further wont just want to bed you .

CONTINUE READING - How do you get a guy to not just want you for sex???